So I'm a few days late on this post. Things have been kind of hectic here. I'm working on papers and projects and thinking about my future (grad school or no grad school?) and really it's times like these that I just want to eat everything in sight! By restricting what/when/how I eat I am learning more and more what my relationship with food once was. I'm seeing how that relationship is changing and realizing how bad it was before.
I want to preface my report of Monday's weigh in with this:
It was the week of my birthday. I know that's not an excuse, I'm just giving a heads up that I didn't follow this diet the way I knew I should... but I also didn't let it bother me too much since it was, afterall, my birthday. (I also celebrated for 3 days...)
As I mentioned before, I was pretty stressed out (I think due to the combination of the birthday and my impending graduation) so I did have a lot of temptation to eat in a really really unhealthy manner. And I did give in to it... But only in moderation. Once upon a time I would have "stress-eaten" three times as much as I did. So, I know I messed up a few times last week, but I feel that the most important part of this rambling is to say that I'm not giving up. I'm back in the saddle (is that the right metaphor?)...
So, my weight on Monday 9/20: 259 lbs.
I didn't lose any weight, but I didn't gain any either... And honestly, I'm already down 11 lbs, so I'm happy with that (for now).
(p.s. While I can't really see any major differences in my body, a few coworkers have said I look like I'm losing weight. Yay!)
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Mini Freak Out
So, I woke up at 6am today feeling incredibly anxious.
It feels like there's a million things on my to-do list and no matter how much I read or type, or study, or plan nothing ever gets crossed off my list.
My theory is that this anxiety has a lot to do with where I am in life. Vague enough for you?
It seems like I am at a point where things are seriously starting to matter. I feel like the decisions I make now are the ones that are going to truly affect my future (at least more so than the decisions I made when I was 16). I feel like I'm really growing up. Graduation is less than a year away. There's so much uncertainty that comes with it (I'm a worrier, it's just what I do). I know I should be thinking about writing papers and studying for tests, but most of my time is spent (at least lately) wondering what I should do next. What do I want to do when I grow up? The job market is so scary, but the thought of even more time spent in school (and even more student loans) is also pretty scary.
Tomorrow is my birthday and for the first time, I'm not super excited about it. I'll be 23 and while I know that it's still very young, I never really imagined myself being 23. 23 is such a grown up number. (I feel like an adult finally, instead of a 17 year old trying to pass as 23 to get into a bar.) I'm an adult. It's strange. I'm in control of my own life. I guess that's where I'm feeling the pressure. 23 seems like some huge crossroads. Like it's now or never. I won't get another chance to do things right or differently. Like I have to work on everything right this instant: I need to learn to live a healthy lifestyle, have a Biblically sound marriage (is "Biblically" even a word?), be out of debt, know what I want to do with my life, know the exact steps to take to get all of these things, have a 4.0 this semester, grow in my faith, network to find a job/get into grad school, keep in touch with old friends, keep in touch with current friends, be a good wife/daughter/sister/niece/aunt/friend/student/role-model.... It seems like everything is piling up. And it all has to be done NOW!
And that's a lot of pressure.
Do you ever feel this way? How do you handle your anxiety?
It feels like there's a million things on my to-do list and no matter how much I read or type, or study, or plan nothing ever gets crossed off my list.
My theory is that this anxiety has a lot to do with where I am in life. Vague enough for you?
It seems like I am at a point where things are seriously starting to matter. I feel like the decisions I make now are the ones that are going to truly affect my future (at least more so than the decisions I made when I was 16). I feel like I'm really growing up. Graduation is less than a year away. There's so much uncertainty that comes with it (I'm a worrier, it's just what I do). I know I should be thinking about writing papers and studying for tests, but most of my time is spent (at least lately) wondering what I should do next. What do I want to do when I grow up? The job market is so scary, but the thought of even more time spent in school (and even more student loans) is also pretty scary.
Tomorrow is my birthday and for the first time, I'm not super excited about it. I'll be 23 and while I know that it's still very young, I never really imagined myself being 23. 23 is such a grown up number. (I feel like an adult finally, instead of a 17 year old trying to pass as 23 to get into a bar.) I'm an adult. It's strange. I'm in control of my own life. I guess that's where I'm feeling the pressure. 23 seems like some huge crossroads. Like it's now or never. I won't get another chance to do things right or differently. Like I have to work on everything right this instant: I need to learn to live a healthy lifestyle, have a Biblically sound marriage (is "Biblically" even a word?), be out of debt, know what I want to do with my life, know the exact steps to take to get all of these things, have a 4.0 this semester, grow in my faith, network to find a job/get into grad school, keep in touch with old friends, keep in touch with current friends, be a good wife/daughter/sister/niece/aunt/friend/student/role-model.... It seems like everything is piling up. And it all has to be done NOW!
And that's a lot of pressure.
Do you ever feel this way? How do you handle your anxiety?
Monday, September 13, 2010
Little Faith
Last week was the first week of the "immersion plan" and to be honest, I didn't think I was going to lose any weight. We ate so much food! Or maybe it seemed like a lot of food after the first week at 1200 cals/day.
I messed up a few times last week, but for the most part I stayed under the 1600 cals/day limit.
Annnd
This morning I weighed in at 259. I lost 4 more lbs! I'm now under 260!
I had such little faith, man I was so wrong to doubt this thing.
So, I can now mark off another goal on my 101 in 1001 list.
Speaking of my list, I'm definitely gonna try to step up the blogging thing soon (like today).
I messed up a few times last week, but for the most part I stayed under the 1600 cals/day limit.
Annnd
This morning I weighed in at 259. I lost 4 more lbs! I'm now under 260!
I had such little faith, man I was so wrong to doubt this thing.
So, I can now mark off another goal on my 101 in 1001 list.
Speaking of my list, I'm definitely gonna try to step up the blogging thing soon (like today).
Monday, September 6, 2010
Week 1: Weigh In & Overview
So, let's talk about the first week of the Carb Lovers Diet.
I'll keep it kind of short since the last post is mostly about the first week...
To begin, I wasn't a big fan. But it's not Carb Lovers' fault. I would've hated anything that made me exercise any kind of self control. The food was ok. It was hard to give up sodas and sugar and sandwiches and dessert. But I think the hardest part was the portion sizes. I just was not used to eating so little. But, I got used to small portions, and I only sort of miss sodas now. And, I can have dessert now! Actually, now that it's time to start the 21 Day Immersion Plan I don't think I'll be able to eat all the food I'm supposed to eat each day.
But, sticking with it has definitely paid off!
On August 30 (day 1) I weighed 270.
September 6th: 263 lbs.
I LOST 7 FRICKIN' POUNDS!!!
I'll keep it kind of short since the last post is mostly about the first week...
To begin, I wasn't a big fan. But it's not Carb Lovers' fault. I would've hated anything that made me exercise any kind of self control. The food was ok. It was hard to give up sodas and sugar and sandwiches and dessert. But I think the hardest part was the portion sizes. I just was not used to eating so little. But, I got used to small portions, and I only sort of miss sodas now. And, I can have dessert now! Actually, now that it's time to start the 21 Day Immersion Plan I don't think I'll be able to eat all the food I'm supposed to eat each day.
But, sticking with it has definitely paid off!
On August 30 (day 1) I weighed 270.
September 6th: 263 lbs.
I LOST 7 FRICKIN' POUNDS!!!
Friday, September 3, 2010
ch ch changes
Lots of changes going on lately.
1. Went to the beach. Didn't come back a lobster. Big change for me.
2. School has resumed. My senior year. I'm not as sentimental as I was during the first week of senior year in high school... The first week is over, and the jury is still out. I can't tell how this semester will be. I am going back and forth between excitement and dread. Some of my classes will be amazing (ahemChickamaugaStaffRide) but others, I think, are going to be boring and possibly even difficult (not a very good combination). I guess I need more time to feel out this semester.
3.My 101 List: I've done a few more kind of important things, like:
4. PAID OFF OUR GM CARD!!!!!!!!! I'm pretty excited. Clearly.
and... the big news is:
Josh and I started the Carb Lovers Diet. My cousin Jennifer (of thejenwestquest) has been blogging about her weight loss experience and I found out about Carb Lovers through her. So, after our beach trip I bought the book. We started on Monday morning, and I was ready to give up by 8:00 that night. (That night I dreamt about eating delicious junk food!) Tuesday I had a setback. But, after internalizing the cookie dough disaster, I decided to stick with it. (Side note: I find the first week especially challenging because, as a "kickstart week" the diet cuts calorie intake to 1200/day... which, I feel, is fine for weight loss in people who were already healthy or at least kind of paying attention to what they ate... but I went from eating a ridiculous amount of unhealthy calories each day (like maybe 3000?) to 1200. It was painful the first few days. Now, it's getting easier. I still know that I'm eating very little, but I also know that the week is almost over!!!) So, now that the tangent is over, I decided to stick with the "kick off week" (instead of skipping straight to the "immersion" plan which allows 1600 calories/day) but I decided not to be as strict on myself. I have spent the last few days aiming/hoping to keep my calorie intake down around 1200, but if I end up eating 1400 I'm not going to berate myself. And you know what? It's working. Actually, now that I'm not stressing about following this first week of diet the-very-most-exact-way it says, I've been fine. I'm hovering right around 1200-1250 calories/day. And, I've been tracking my eating habits through myplate on livestrong.com. AND... I don't want to spoil any surprises, but I know this first week has been pretty successful on the scale front. I think I'll post my starting and new weight on Monday, since that will be the beginning of week 2 for me.
1. Went to the beach. Didn't come back a lobster. Big change for me.
2. School has resumed. My senior year. I'm not as sentimental as I was during the first week of senior year in high school... The first week is over, and the jury is still out. I can't tell how this semester will be. I am going back and forth between excitement and dread. Some of my classes will be amazing (ahemChickamaugaStaffRide) but others, I think, are going to be boring and possibly even difficult (not a very good combination). I guess I need more time to feel out this semester.
3.My 101 List: I've done a few more kind of important things, like:
4. PAID OFF OUR GM CARD!!!!!!!!! I'm pretty excited. Clearly.
and... the big news is:
Josh and I started the Carb Lovers Diet. My cousin Jennifer (of thejenwestquest) has been blogging about her weight loss experience and I found out about Carb Lovers through her. So, after our beach trip I bought the book. We started on Monday morning, and I was ready to give up by 8:00 that night. (That night I dreamt about eating delicious junk food!) Tuesday I had a setback. But, after internalizing the cookie dough disaster, I decided to stick with it. (Side note: I find the first week especially challenging because, as a "kickstart week" the diet cuts calorie intake to 1200/day... which, I feel, is fine for weight loss in people who were already healthy or at least kind of paying attention to what they ate... but I went from eating a ridiculous amount of unhealthy calories each day (like maybe 3000?) to 1200. It was painful the first few days. Now, it's getting easier. I still know that I'm eating very little, but I also know that the week is almost over!!!) So, now that the tangent is over, I decided to stick with the "kick off week" (instead of skipping straight to the "immersion" plan which allows 1600 calories/day) but I decided not to be as strict on myself. I have spent the last few days aiming/hoping to keep my calorie intake down around 1200, but if I end up eating 1400 I'm not going to berate myself. And you know what? It's working. Actually, now that I'm not stressing about following this first week of diet the-very-most-exact-way it says, I've been fine. I'm hovering right around 1200-1250 calories/day. And, I've been tracking my eating habits through myplate on livestrong.com. AND... I don't want to spoil any surprises, but I know this first week has been pretty successful on the scale front. I think I'll post my starting and new weight on Monday, since that will be the beginning of week 2 for me.
Monday, August 16, 2010
One Week
One Week from today I will be on my way to the beach. Ready to indulge in a little relaxation. And since I have very few interesting things to say these days, I'm going to include visuals to help guide you along my plans:
Hanging out at the beach (obviously)
Staying in an adorable beach house (this one isn't ours)
Delicious, fruity, girly drinks
Sleeping (I plan to do an unnecessarily large amount of sleeping...)
Not Getting a Sunburn
Summer (beach) Reading.
Shopping
Hanging out with my two precious nephews.
And my adorable niece
(and try to fight the baby fever I get when I spend time with all of them)
Mindless T.V. Watching
Family Games
Did I mention shopping?
And of course, spending lots of time with Josh's family (while we still can. boo.).
Friday, August 6, 2010
August Impatience
Hello out there. Worst blogger ever here... I don't write because I have nothing to say.
I am doing nothing these days... just waiting and wishing. That is the summary of August for me.
August is the strangest month. It's a flurry of emotions. I am always so sick of summer by this point in the year that I spend most August days miserable. But I look forward to everything the rest of the year has to offer: beach vacation with J's family, school starting, classes with some of my favorite professors (just found this one out! Yay!), football season, my birthday, J's b'day, everything that's good about the fall (leaves changing, cooler temps, heavier fabrics, layering, darker hair, not being a big sweaty mess) and of course all of the best holidays are coming up... So I'm miserable, but a little crazy with excitement, and then I realize that most of these exciting things will end up causing me all kinds of problems so I get a little bit stressed (I'm a worrier, that's what we do.) And I try to tell myself not to wish this month away because soon I will be longing for summer.... Before you know it I'm just a big ball of emotion.
But mostly I'm impatient. I just want August to hurry up and end so I can finally get started (on what? I'm not sure...).
The month of August is kind of like New Year's Eve for me. An entire month of waiting for a new beginning.
I am doing nothing these days... just waiting and wishing. That is the summary of August for me.
August is the strangest month. It's a flurry of emotions. I am always so sick of summer by this point in the year that I spend most August days miserable. But I look forward to everything the rest of the year has to offer: beach vacation with J's family, school starting, classes with some of my favorite professors (just found this one out! Yay!), football season, my birthday, J's b'day, everything that's good about the fall (leaves changing, cooler temps, heavier fabrics, layering, darker hair, not being a big sweaty mess) and of course all of the best holidays are coming up... So I'm miserable, but a little crazy with excitement, and then I realize that most of these exciting things will end up causing me all kinds of problems so I get a little bit stressed (I'm a worrier, that's what we do.) And I try to tell myself not to wish this month away because soon I will be longing for summer.... Before you know it I'm just a big ball of emotion.
But mostly I'm impatient. I just want August to hurry up and end so I can finally get started (on what? I'm not sure...).
The month of August is kind of like New Year's Eve for me. An entire month of waiting for a new beginning.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)